If I were Japanese

If I were Japanese, I wouldn’t be American.

If I were Japanese, I’d be living in Japan…probably.

If I were Japanese, I’d be a failure of a Japanese because my grades are so bad.

It’s obvious that all Japanese people have great academic grades. So that’s why if I were Japanese I’d be shunned because of my horrible grades in high school. Of course, my personality would probably get in the way of my reputation as well. “Hey you know that (insert Japanese name which would be my name here)?” “Yeah, I heard about him” “He’s a real failure huh?” “Yeah, totally.”

That would be the standard conversation about me. But I like to imagine sometimes that I’d be like Tomoya Okazaki from CLANNAD. Except instead of Basketball I’d be playing soccer. Okay, so I don’t like to imagine myself as Okazaki, but rather Sunohara Youhei, his buddy. I have a horrible track record with women and I played a lot of soccer once. I don’t have a sister though, thank goodness. Sisters are annoying. Though I wouldn’t know because I don’t have one…ANYWAY. So yeah, I’d be Sunohara. Dye my hair blonde, spend all my time with my best bro who would be like Okazaki. I’d have no girlfriend though because I’m Sunohara. But wait…what If I went to high school in Japan when I was still in high school. Oh right, I’m no longer Sunohara, I’m the real me again.

Let’s imagine that I went to High School in Japan instead of here in America. 100% chance I’d have a Japanese girlfriend easy. Probably more than one. White people are popular over there I hear, and I’m not bad looking either. It’d be awesome. I’d have some kickass friends, and we’d hang out doing whatever Japanese high school kids do. Probably saving girls in comas, talking about which end of the Chocolate Cornet you eat, go to sports and culture festivals, fight the Computer Club at a game they made in which they begin to cheat, go back in time to where I have to tell myself something right after I get stabbed, swing baseball bats at guys that are hitting on the friend I secretly have a thing for, you know, the usual. (Who can get all the references correct?!) So yeah, it’d be awesome.

Please note I do not actually think this way. Though 10/10 chance I would have a Japanese girlfriend easy because I’m white. At least I’ll have had sex a few times.